He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. Do not correct a scoffer, let he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you (Prov 9:7,8).
Here is a proverb containing great wisdom which is not put into practice by many believers in my personal experience. It has been rather common to observe fellow believers make an earnest effort to convince scoffers of God about His truth if not His very existence. The Greek translated as “shame” in the proverb literally means dishonor and reproach, something we do well to avoid rather than relish if only for our peace of mind. This is in harmony with the teaching of Jesus as He instructed disciples being sent out to preach the gospel of the kingdom: “Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave as a testimony against them” (Mark 6:10,11). Shaking off dust was symbolic of coming wrath on those who refused to accept the message. We need to appreciate there are seasons not only for activities as we find explained in Ecclesiastes, but for people as well. It is the office of the Holy Spirit that is responsible for convicting people of sin (John 16:8). Thus while we can bring a message of need for repentance and having faith in Christ Jesus, it is to be done gently and without creating offense so we do not hinder the work of the Spirit by correcting a scoffer instead of allowing God to soften a heart so truth can be received. Furthermore those who persist in resisting the call of God to His Son are under the influence of demonic powers as described by the apostle Paul (Ephesians 6:12). I was taught years ago that one cannot argue with a demon, and such is what takes place if one attempts to reason with scoffers. The evil forces driving such a person will produce not only rejection but hatred at times as warned in Proverbs 9:8. The best way to deal with a scoffer is to avoid attempts at persuasion by correction or rebuke, instead showing acts of love which can overcome a multitude of sins as exhorted in scripture. Earlier in my own life, I refused to heed rebuke and correction by my family when abuse of alcohol was taking me to a place of despair known as a ‘hard bottom.’ I had attended church regularly for five decades of life before coming to conviction of sin and repentance by the grace of God and receiving the gift of faith to believe in Jesus Christ. Until that appointed time, my heart was unable to genuinely comprehend what the Son of God had done on my personal behalf with His passion, death, and resurrection. My life prior to that day in January, 1983 was that of the ultimate Pharisee, yet a few bore patiently with faults that caused most to give up because of my behavior. So let us save our rebukes for those who are wise (familiar with) in the ways of God….and even then be gentle in doing so as we’re instructed by the apostle (2 Timothy 2:24-26). For the Word of God tells we are all born with a sinful nature and that it is only by the grace of a loving, merciful God that we are brought out of darkness into the light of the One who’ll be our only defense attorney on a coming Day of judgment by saying, “I know him. He has truly become Mine!”